Goodbye Alice in the wonderland

It's four in the afternoon
I'm on a flight leaving L.A.
Trying to think about my life
My youth scattered along the highway

Hotel rooms and headlights
I've made a living with a song
Guitar as my companion
Wanting desperately to belong

Fame is filled with spoiled children
We grow fat on fantasy
I guess that's why I'm leaving
I crave reality

So goodbye Alice in Wonderland
Goodbye yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
I did not find paradise
It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting
What's been missing in my life

I'm embarassed to say the rest is a rock and roll cliche
I hit the bottom when I reached the top
But I never knew it was you who was breaking my heart
I thought you had to love me
But you did not

Yes a heart can hallucinate
If it's completely starved for love
It can even turn monsters into
Angels from above

You forged my love just like a weapon
And you turned it against me like a knife
You broke my last heartstring
You opened up my eyes

So goodbye Alice in Wonderland
Goodbye yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
That was not love in your eyes
It was only a reflection of my lonely mind searching
what was missing in my life

Growing up is not an absence of dreaming
It's being able to understand the difference between the ones you can hold
And the ones that you've been sold
And Dreaming is a good thing cause it brings new things to life
But pretending is an ending that perpetuates a lie
Forgetting what you are
Seeing for what you've been told

Ohh truth is stranger than fiction
This is my chance to get it right
And life is much better without all of those pretty lies

Ohh So Goodbye Alice in Wonderland
And you can keep your yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
These are not tears in my eyes
They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding
They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding
I found what's missing in my life

Jewel

jig-gig-jig-saw

1000 pieces is an easy task when you do with somebody,it can be really fun and you forget the time.

back then,when i was younger,my mum used to get me jigsaw puzzles...mostly disney characters...and when there is one missing puzzle,you wouldnt want to know how bad i've cried.Since then, i will not do my puzzle or carrying it around to another place from where i initially do the puzzle.i will stuck at the same place until the final piece.

Now as i'm getting older,jigsaw puzzle is still part of my favourite collections...it has alot of meaning..

When connect puzzle with my life and God...it's quite similar...I know at the end of the days,my home will be where God is,there are roads to go through to reach the sacred home..the road of misery,hardship,courage,bliss,happiness and temptation.Giving up is as easy as drinking water but because the love of God,giving up is trash and foolish.Puzzle is also the same thing,sometimes when you get a piece to put together with the other pieces,it fits nicely but at the other time it fits no where that you need to change to a different piece.the unknown piece will be revealed at the end of the day,and you will feel great about it.

I am both worried of my life and when doing puzzle,afraid that the nightmares of losing a piece of the puzzle will come back again.slowly,worries fade.....
the full picture is there,the happy ending is written,you just have to be more patient.

i'm still learning to be patient...without it...nothing will be accomplished.

reverie

if i'm an author,i will fulfill my wishes on hundred of papers. I will pour all the beautiful story in my mind, i will pour all my doubt...i will pour everything out of my mind that my brain will be clear all the time.

If i'm a pilot,i will take all my problems way up high to the sky and let all the problems fly with the moving clouds because i know my problems will be gone forever,evaporate with the white clouds.

if i'm a baseball player,i will use my needs as my strength to run for the homerun, the more that i need, the faster i can run.

if i'm a zookeeper, i will have the fulltime worrying about hundredth of animals,breed them,tame them and thus i learn to be patient from it to deal with creature that are more dangerous than the animals,us,the human.

........what if there's no if? i will just be a dreamer to be all that..

you are loved,devimaria

vanness wu and God

this is an extract from : Men’s Uno Taiwan issue No.127

Taking a look back at the past, he [vanness] doesn’t deny about losing himself because he “became famous too quickly”. When too many people offered their love, they made him lose his power to see what was real. He had become anxious and upset over gossips and false reports in the past. “When too many people congratulate you, and everyone compliments you unconditionally, it’s very easy to lose yourself in the midst of fake images and false reputations. There was a time when I asked myself if I am Mei Zuo or Van Ness Wu? I forgot what I really wanted, what my heart really cared about, what ideals I had since I was a child? I even went back to the US to settle myself down, in hopes to find the feeling I had in the beginning. All the uncertainty and agitation I had slowly disappeared after I found God!”

Rebirth after Baptism

Van Ness stated, “I struggle a lot at first to not play around with women. In the beginning, the pastor told me to start slowly, and now I have promised God that I will observe abstinence before marriage. After the promise and his alteration, in separate years, Van Ness achieved his goal of making music, holding concert, etc. More than once, during interviews, he has testified, “Give your faith to God and everything around you will succeed.” Van Ness also openly said that he was a “beast” before, but now, even though there are still women who take the initiative around him, he “sees them with different eyes.”

“Many people thought I look at things differently after my belief in God. I don’t deny that my belief has changed my life, because I truly feel that God gives me a lot of power. I really want to share the happiness that I have received. I now look at things more and more peacefully, or it can be said as a departure from the hot-blooded youth. I now know better to step back and think, and look at things from a different point of view. When I hesitate, I would quietly pray and hope God would give me power. He always points me to the right road and takes me to a better place. I’m truly grateful to him!”

In the interview, he shared a phrase from the bible: “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, all your plans will succeed.” He said, God gives him a lot of positive energy. He also hopes everyone can give themselves a chance to get to know God better. “He doesn’t care how much you have done, he already loves you, he already gives you love unconditionally. Just believe and proceed in the direction from God, you will be able to get where you want to be.”

Back when he was will unsure about taking on Autumn’s Concerto, he slightly panicked as many situations arose. However, he got a feeling that God wanted him to move forward bravely, and now it proved his direction was correct. “During filming, I would always have discussions with the director. I hoped to refine the most appropriate acting style, and then completely immerse myself into the drama. I believe God will take care of me, and let me do my very best.”

i find this is really really rare coming from a Taiwan ABC celebrity. i feel good about it.i believe he can help alot of people out there,because of his wonderful testimony,his love for God. I was surprised at first but come to think about it,hey! God is so amazing that even the least expected thing,it will become a really great thing. and He can use any tools He likes to save this world.

i am being recharge again to do what i really supposed to do and i cant wait any longer..

WATCH AUTUMN CONCERTO!ZHEN AWESOME!REALLY HAO GAN!

iRock

historie de ma vie

I just changed my blog title from devi and her angel to historie de ma vie ( my life history) which i quote from the Cassanova book title. not because after i know the english translation but because my name is connected well with it. and for another reason "devi and her angel" doesn't really fit well with my story-telling,as i dont mention much of "my angel"... my literature teacher said that to write a good story,we need a good title and here i am making amend.so any kind of story will fit well here.

Speaking of literature,this semester is my introduction class to literature and i am anticipating alot from this class but sadly, the books here cost ba-bomb as mostly are imported books!and hard to find!i miss the singapore national library where it used to be my favorite place,one of the good thing about Singapore.and yes!....romeo and juliet please come back to life!

Now I but chide, but I should use thee worse,
For thou, I fear, hast given me cause to curse.
If thou hast slain Lysander in his sleep,
Being o'er shoes in blood, plunge in the deep,
And kill me too.
The sun was not so true unto the day
As he to me. Would he have stolen away
From sleeping Hermia? I'll believe as soon
This whole earth may be bor'd, and that the moon
May through the centre creep and so displease
Her brother's noontide with th' Antipodes.
It cannot be but thou hast murd'red him;
So should a murderer look- so dead, so grim.[A Midsummer Night's Dream]