Jakarta for Jesus

#feel so good to be in the crowd again praising and worshiping!
#jakarta youth is so happening!they were overflow!yay!
#a special testimony from a superstar Vanness Wu really gave a great impact!
#Ps Philip Mantofa,i want to hear you more and more!
#Jesus,You are the only way,the truth and the life!

after easter...

 "Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like You have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks Yours

Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause

As I walk from earth into eternity"

                                          Hossana-Hillsong

This is my favourite song of all time but when this song was played as one of the worship song on the Easter service at the church last Saturday...each of the word,each meaning behind the words consumed me all over again..

i watched Passion of the Christ,i read the Luke verses,i pray,im indulge in the Easter celebration,Easter mood but.....what is it that i
            should do after all these passed,back to the routines,
back to reality..another new days,
another new weeks and another new months...

that few lines from a song,explain it all......

when you miss someone

i tried to blow
this colorful windmill

   with all my might,so i can let go 

    all the beautiful affliction

   caused by missing you

la réalité

"After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman,
not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn..”

—	Veronica A. Shoffstall

enjoy the humps!

今后不再怕天明,我想只是害怕清醒
[No longer afraid of the future dawn,i would like to just afraid of waking]

what do you feel when somebody woke you up in the middle of the night,telling some little news that make all your fairy tale dream shattered apart and then you were forced to go back to sleep with a suffocated heart,hoping that you quickly find the door back to your wonderful dream,forgetting about how you feel a while ago.

these days,as emotional as i was,i tend to easily forget my-self [my hyphen SELF], the girl who loves so much fun and the girl who doesnt care being different, the girl who continually being drill to be stronger that no problem is bigger than her God so eventually she should know now,she can be herself in any kind of situation at any time.. I dont feel that way,im drifted away....easily satisfied,easily happy yet also easily broken and easily sad...everyday fill with bizarre anxiety that sometimes i hope the heart was freeze to the coldest temperature.I began to start liking reading some inspirational forwarded msgs or forwarded quotes and listen to songs and feel hey,it's so me..so me...to make me feel better...then i'm back to being unhappy..start wondering,wonder and wonder until i feel uneasy because of it.

so i realise....there is this time in life even your level of maturity,your age,your social status,your uniqueness or level of self-conscience wont be able to help you to pass the days with dont worry be happy attitudes... they dont..i still decided on one of the choices without all those above and most of the time i've chosen the wrong choice... what to do then?i try the gray shades,far from black and white choices. Try to have the ability to let go and embrace the virtues of not knowing,of not planning and not trying to fit too neatly into the box. because all the little setbacks are just temporarily as fast as it will go away like the speed of capsule locomotive...accept it and brave it!...not afraid of laughing out loud and not afraid of crying out loud..cos i have the greatest counsellor!

cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7

they will gone with the wind~ 

in my enduring young adulthood......... let's embrace on jolie laide of life.....

quand je regarde ma vie

when i look at my life and its secret colors,i feel like bursting into tears. Like that sky, it's rain and sun both, noon and midnight. You know,i think of the lips i've kissed and of the wretched child i was and of the madness of life, the ambition that sometimes carries me away. i'm all those things at once. im sure there are times when you wouldnt even recognise me. Extreme in misery, excessive in happiness - i cant say it.  ~ Albert Camus