今后不再怕天明,我想只是害怕清醒
[No longer afraid of the future dawn,i would like to just afraid of waking]
what do you feel when somebody woke you up in the middle of the night,telling some little news that make all your fairy tale dream shattered apart and then you were forced to go back to sleep with a suffocated heart,hoping that you quickly find the door back to your wonderful dream,forgetting about how you feel a while ago.
these days,as emotional as i was,i tend to easily forget my-self [my hyphen SELF], the girl who loves so much fun and the girl who doesnt care being different, the girl who continually being drill to be stronger that no problem is bigger than her God so eventually she should know now,she can be herself in any kind of situation at any time.. I dont feel that way,im drifted away....easily satisfied,easily happy yet also easily broken and easily sad...everyday fill with bizarre anxiety that sometimes i hope the heart was freeze to the coldest temperature.I began to start liking reading some inspirational forwarded msgs or forwarded quotes and listen to songs and feel hey,it's so me..so me...to make me feel better...then i'm back to being unhappy..start wondering,wonder and wonder until i feel uneasy because of it.
so i realise....there is this time in life even your level of maturity,your age,your social status,your uniqueness or level of self-conscience wont be able to help you to pass the days with dont worry be happy attitudes... they dont..i still decided on one of the choices without all those above and most of the time i've chosen the wrong choice... what to do then?i try the gray shades,far from black and white choices. Try to have the ability to let go and embrace the virtues of not knowing,of not planning and not trying to fit too neatly into the box. because all the little setbacks are just temporarily as fast as it will go away like the speed of capsule locomotive...accept it and brave it!...not afraid of laughing out loud and not afraid of crying out loud..cos i have the greatest counsellor!
cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7
they will gone with the wind~
in my enduring young adulthood......... let's embrace on jolie laide of life.....
